What I need is a good defence
by 50shadesofwitchbitch
Summary: 'I got you to look after me, and you got me to look after you.' Freakshow one-shot.


'_I got you to look after me, and you got me to look after you.'_

_-John Steinbeck, Of Mice and Men._

It was the evening of the fourth of September as dusk crept over the little campsite just inside Jupiter. Each tent, caravan and bivouac fell silent. Candles in glass lanterns were blown out; curtains were drawn shut and doors closed. All except for one tent in particular…

''_Don't you tell me to deny it, I've done wrong and I want to suffer for my sins. I've come to you 'cause I need guidance to be true, I just don't know where I can begin_.''

Dot's soulful voice was quiet and just loud enough for her and Bette to hear. And Bette loved to hear her sister sing.

''I think you should sing for Elsa tomorrow.'' Bette whispered.

Dot stopped singing and picked up her comb instead.

''No. I won't sing for her. I won't sing for anyone.'' Dot said, brushing out her hair in their new mirror.

''But you sing for me all the time.'' Bette smiled, placing her own comb back on their dresser.

''That's because I have to, stupid.'' Dot rolled her eyes.

Bette looked at her sister. Dot could be so mean sometimes and she hated it. It was hard when the only person she had left in the world brushed her off and pushed her away.

''If only it were that simple.'' Dot said, hearing her sister's thoughts as clear as if they were spoken.

''Don't ya say that.'' Bette said, tears pooling in her eyes.

Dot felt a pang of guilt for what she had said. She loved her sister more than anything in the world but sometimes she could be a right pain in the neck.

''Good choice of words.'' Bette laughed, raising her hand to her mouth.

Dot just rolled her eyes.

''Mädchen leise sein!'' Elsa's voice boomed through the fabric walls of the tent.

Neither girl knew what she was talking about, but they knew it was a queue for them to keep the noise down. Now, to the outside world that was exactly what Bette and Dot appeared to do. And Elsa didn't hear another peep from them. Only their heads were a noisy place when carrying on a conversation could happen in a way it could with only them.

The girls pulled back the cover on their new bed and climbed in. Dot thought about their bed back at the farm and how she missed it so. Bette heard her. Bette always heard her.

''You know I think this bed is bigger.'' Bette laughed in a small, quiet voice, even in spite of their telepathy.

''I miss the farm, Bette. I long for its solitary. I don't like it here, I want to go home.'' Dot replied, staring at the cloth ceiling in the dark.

And for the first time in a long time, she thought she might be the one who cried.

''I'm sorry.'' Bette whispered.

''No. It's my fault… I could have stopped you. I should have stopped you.'' Dot said.

Bette raised her sculpted brow at her sister.

''You'd do well to guard your thoughts, Bette. I saw you envisage that knife right from the word no.'' Dot sighed.

''Why didn't you stop me?'' Bette asked; her voice small.

Dot thought for a minute. Why hadn't she stopped her sister from murdering their own mother?

''Because… Because I wanted her to feel the pain that you felt, that we felt, every day of our entire lives; because I dared to imagine a world where we were free to do as we pleased. For a split second I wanted freedom as bad as you had always wanted it. But not here Bette, not like this. Here we are still nothing but monsters… nothing but freaks.'' Dot hissed.

''Jimmy said we shouldn't say that.'' Bette whispered, biting her nails.

''To hell with what Jimmy thinks. To hell with what they all think. We're monsters so long as we are here and I want out, Bette.'' Dot said, turning her head away from her sister.

''Give the place a chance, Dot. Jimmy saved us and he says were one of them now… You could repay him with your talent. Sing for them Dot, please.'' Bette said, poking her sister's cheek.

''No!'' Dot hissed aloud, slapping her sister's hand away.

Both fell silent for a little while. They didn't even share a thought, for thinking was telling. After a while, when Bette wasn't sure if Dot was sleeping or not, she spoke again.

''I don't want them to separate us.'' She whispered.

Dot swung her head round.

''Don't be stupid, Bette. That's impossible and you know it. Christ you can be so dim-witted sometimes. Thick with a capital T.'' Dot hissed.

Her words stung worse than the slap on her wrist and Bette's bottom lip trembled. But for once in her life, Dot's cruel words gave her the strength she needed to defend herself.

''All we have left is each other now and you'll do well to remember that. I'm the only one who gives a damn about you and I sure as shit know you're the only one who cares about me.'' Bette shot back.

Bette fell asleep soon after but Dot lay awake in the dark, knowing it was now safe to let her thoughts run free. She twisted her head to look at her sleeping sister. She looked so vulnerable and mousey in sleep. She gently pulled back them hem of their night-gown to reveal the small stab wound just above their left breast. It was smaller now and healing well but the sight of it still sent a pang of guilt through Dot.

''Dot Tattler, you are one stone-cold bitch.'' She said aloud to herself.

She planted a kiss atop her sister's nose and shut her eyes.

''Night sissy… I'm so sorry. I really do love you.'' She thought.

''Goodnight Dot.'' Bette said aloud and with a smile.


End file.
